Well the day has come. I have raised enough money to buy my flight to Africa.
Wait. What?!
I really just bought a flight to Africa. For three months. This is really happening...
Overjoyed and overwhelmed are two words that describe what I am feeling right now. I have been waiting for this day for what seems like forever, and it is finally here! My heart could burst with excitement, but what I didn't expect was to feel a sudden sense of inadequacy.
There isn't a doubt in my mind that Africa is where I am supposed to be, but this feeling in the back of my mind is I am so unworthy of this task.
I am unworthy of a lot of things. Aren't we all! But God has laid this opportunity in my lap and everything is falling into place as it should. So why am I feeling so inadequate?
I was at a retreat listening to a girl speak. She said something that at the time didn't really sink in. Until right about... now. It was something along the lines of feeling inadequate should be a very humbling feeling. Never be ashamed of feeling inadequate. That was a really encouraging thing to hear. Having this feeling certainly kicks us off any pedestal we might think we are on.
Let me tell you its a long way from the top!
I have three months for God to prepare my heart for this summer. And that is my prayer that God break me and break my heart.
Africa 2011.
